Audition Monologues for Roles Where Characters Experiment With Something New, Vol. 4
Every working actor I coach struggles with the same trap: rehearsing a monologue until the discovery dies. The performance becomes a recital instead of a scene. Characters trying something new give you a defense against that, because they are mid-experiment all the way through. They cannot land cleanly because they don't know what's coming. Use these to break the recital habit. Read cold. Make different choices each time. Let the unfamiliarity be the engine of the work. Ten new monologues, ten more chances to be honestly off-balance in front of someone watching.
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Eleanor — 48, divorced for a year and writing her first dating app profile
(Sitting on the couch with her sister, phone in hand) Carol, look at this. Look at the photo I picked. Be honest. Do I look forty-eight, or do I look like a forty-eight-year-old trying to look thirty-eight? (laughs) Because I cannot tell anymore. (sighs) The questions, Carol. The questions. What are you looking for. I don't know. I'm looking for a man who doesn't lie about money. What am I supposed to type? Loyalty, integrity, must not be Greg? (beat) Twenty-two years. I was married for twenty-two years. The last time I had to write a personal ad I was using a desktop computer that took fifteen minutes to boot. (softer) Carol, what if I'm not, what if I'm not good at this anymore. What if I forgot how. (longer beat) Don't comfort me. Just help me pick a picture. The blue dress or the black one. The blue one. Right. Okay. We're doing this.
Brent — 25, dating a woman twenty years his senior
(In a coffee shop, to his older brother) Listen. Before you say anything, Mom doesn't know. So if she calls you, you don't know. Got it? (laughs nervously) Yeah. Yeah, her name is Vivian. She's a lawyer. She's forty-five. (pause) I know what you're going to say. I know. But Mason, she is the most interesting person I've ever met. I sat next to her at that benefit thing for work, and she asked me a question, and I gave her an answer, and she said tell me more. Nobody has ever asked me to tell them more. (beat) Yes, I know how this looks. I know how the math works. (firmer) But I'm not, this isn't some, I'm not a project for her. I asked. She laughed in my face for a long time when I asked, but she said no, you're not a project. (softer) Don't make a face. I really like her. I really do.
Vera — 67, recent widow falling for her late husband's brother
(At her kitchen table, to her closest friend) Margaret. Don't speak. Let me say it. (sighs) He came over to help me with the gutters. Frank's brother. Robert. The gutters were full and the rain was coming and Robert came over with a ladder. And we got the gutters done. And then we sat on the porch and we had a glass of wine. And. And he made me laugh, Margaret. (catches breath) For the first time in eighteen months. I laughed. With my whole self. (firmer) I'm not in love with him. I'm not. But I want to be. And that scares me more than I can say. (long beat) Frank has been gone for two years in October. Is that long enough? Is there a number? Does anybody know the number? (softer) Please don't tell my daughter. She will lose her mind. (laughs, wet) Margaret, I think I might be losing my mind too. And I think I'm going to let it happen.
Felix — 31, three months into his first open relationship
(On the patio, to his best friend) So. Lila and I had a long talk last night. Long. Like, three-AM long. (laughs) I have a date tomorrow. With someone else. Lila knows. Lila approved. Lila helped me pick the shirt. (sighs) Why does that feel weird to say out loud? Why does my throat get tight? It's what we agreed. It's what we wanted. We read the books. We read the books, Sam. (beat) But you know what I keep thinking about? I keep thinking about her face when she said, I love you, have a good time. Like she meant it. Like she genuinely meant it. (longer beat) I do not know if I will mean it when it's her turn next week. I don't know yet. (firmer) And I think that's what this is for. I think this is the part where I find out what I'm actually made of. (softer) Tell me you're not judging me. Sam. Just tell me.
Tatum — 23, six months into a relationship, first time in couples therapy
(Sitting on the couch, addressing the therapist) Doctor. Doctor Yates. I have been sitting in this chair for fifteen minutes and I still have not said anything real. (laughs nervously) Marc keeps looking at me. He keeps looking at me like he's waiting for me to start. (sighs) Fine. Fine. Here we go. (beat) I think I'm scared. Marc, I think I'm scared that I want this too much. And every time you do something thoughtful, every time you put your hand on my back at the kitchen sink, I think, this is going to end. This is going to end and I am going to feel stupid for having loved it. (firmer) My therapist said to bring this here. She said this isn't an individual problem. So here we are. (looks at Marc) Don't say anything yet. Doctor Yates, what do you do with a person like me. (longer beat) I want to be different. I want to be the person who trusts you.
Marvin — 55, finally telling his wife after thirty years that he wants out
(In the living room, late evening) Janine. Sit down. Please. (beat) No, please, this is important. (sighs) I have been trying to figure out how to say this for, for a long time. A long time. (firmer) I want a divorce. (pause, lets it land) Please don't say anything yet. Let me get it out. (beat) This isn't about another person. It isn't about anything you did. You have been a good wife. You have been a great mother. And we have been roommates for fifteen years and we both know it. (softer) I sat in the garage last week, Janine. I sat in the garage in the dark for two hours. And I realized I have twenty years left, maybe. Twenty. And I am not going to spend them the way I spent the last twenty. (catches breath) I love you. I do. I'm not in love with you. Neither are you. (long beat) Yell at me. Please. Yell. Don't just sit there.
Phyllis — 39, type-A executive hiring a professional matchmaker
(In an office, across the desk) Look. Carol. Or is it Carolyn? Carolyn. Sorry. (laughs) I run a department of forty-seven people. I have three nieces. I am the godmother of two children whose parents I introduced. I am good at people. (firmer) I am terrible at dating. I do not know why these two things are true at the same time. (sighs) I have tried the apps. I have tried the bars. I had a great-aunt set me up with a man named Phillip who turned out to be in jail. (laughs, slightly hysterical) So I am here. I am paying you what is frankly an obscene amount of money. To find me a man. (pause) Don't look at me like that. Don't pity me. I don't need pity, I need a system. (firmer) Tell me what you need from me. A photo. A questionnaire. A blood sample. Whatever it is, I will provide it by Friday.
Octavio — 28, finally breaking up with his high school sweetheart
(In a parked car at night, to her) Mara. Please put your phone down. Please. (beat) Ten years. We have been together for ten years. Tenth anniversary was in August. And you got me that watch and I got you those earrings and we ate at the place by the river. (sighs) And I sat across from you and I could not, I could not feel anything. (firmer) That's not you. That's not your fault. You are the same person you've always been. (softer) But Mara, we got together when we were eighteen. And I don't know what kind of man I am because I have only ever been the man who is with you. And I think you don't know what kind of woman you are either, and we are both pretending. (pause) I'm not asking for a fight. I'm asking for us to stop. (catches voice) I love you. That is the worst part. I still love you. And I'm doing this anyway.
Ingrid — 44, dating a man fifteen years younger and meeting his friends
(Hiding in the bathroom of a restaurant, phone to ear) Naomi. Naomi, pick up. Pick up. (whispers) I am in the bathroom of a restaurant that I cannot pronounce the name of. There are eight people at the table. They are all twenty-nine. I am the oldest person in this restaurant. The waiter included. (laughs, panicked) Trevor is so happy. Trevor keeps putting his arm around me and saying things like babe, tell them that story. And I'm trying. I am trying to be normal. But Naomi, his best friend just said the phrase 'extremely demure' unironically and I lost two years of my life. (sighs) I do not know what their references are. I do not know what an Erewhon is. I think it's a store? (beat) But Trevor is so happy. And he reached for my hand under the table. (softer) He's so kind. He's so much kinder than men my own age. Help me. Just tell me I can do this.
Quincy — 60, widower asking out the neighbor he has known for ten years
(At his front door, holding flowers, talking to his dog) Buster. Buster, listen to me. I am going to walk across the street. I am going to ring her doorbell. I am going to ask her to go to dinner. (beat) Don't look at me like that. I know. I know. We've been neighbors for ten years. Marlene was alive for eight of them. Helen watered our plants when we went to Italy. (sighs) But she made a lasagna last week and brought it over. And she sat at my table and ate with me and told me about her sister in Phoenix. And I laughed for the first time in I don't know how long. (firmer) So I am going to do this. (looks at the flowers) These are tulips, Buster. People like tulips. (pause) What if she says no? (longer beat) What if she says yes. (sighs) Okay. Okay, I'm going. If I'm not back in an hour, I'm not coming back tonight. Don't wait up.
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