Monologues for Voice Acting, Vol. 8
Range is a word casting throws around like it's a noun. It's not. It's a verb. It's the work of moving from a whisper to a war cry without faking either. These ten monologues each ask for a different version of you. Find the one that's already in your voice.
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Captain Nightingale Sloan - swaggering pirate captain
"Well, well, WELL! (laughs, draws cutlass) What have the tides washed up onto MY deck this fine, miserable morning? (steps forward) Three of you. Wet. Bedraggled. Carrying, if my eyes do not deceive me, a chart. (grins) A chart, lads! (spins to crew) Do you HEAR that? They brought us a chart! (back to prisoners) Now, the question I have, and it is a sincere question, you understand, is this: did you bring me this chart because you wanted to, or because you HAD to? (leans in, suddenly quiet) Because the answer to that question, my new friends, decides whether the next words out of my mouth are 'welcome aboard' or 'over the side.' (beat, then huge grin) So choose carefully. (laughs) Oh, I do love a Tuesday."
Anchor Diane Holloway - polished news anchor
"Good evening. (measured, clear) I'm Diane Holloway, and these are tonight's top stories. (pause) A unanimous ruling from the State Supreme Court today struck down the controversial Harbor Bill, ending a sixteen-month legal battle that drew national attention. We'll have full reaction from both sides of the aisle in just a moment. (beat) In Detroit, a community is mourning the loss of a young teacher whose work with at-risk students was, by every account, transformative. Her name was Camille Reyes. She was twenty-nine. (softer) We'll bring you her story later in the broadcast. (beat, picks up pace) And tonight, a record-setting storm system moving east, what it means for your weekend, and why meteorologists are calling it the most unusual pattern they've seen this decade. (beat) All that, and more. Stay with us."
Brother Solas - wise samurai master
"Sit. (quiet, even, low) No, not there. Here. Where you can see the water. (pause) You came up the mountain in three days. That is faster than I climbed it as a young man. You are proud of this. Do not be. (beat) The mountain did not know you were here, and it does not know you have arrived. The mountain is not the test. (longer pause) You will train under me for one year. In that year, I will teach you four things. How to breathe. How to wait. How to fall. (beat) And, eventually, how to draw the blade. (small) You wish to ask which lesson is first. (quiet) You have been on this mountain for nine minutes, and you have not stopped breathing hard since you sat down. (beat) Begin there."
Penelope "Penny" Aster - bratty rich teenager
"Oh my GOD, Daddy, are you SERIOUS right now?! (huff) You said. You SAID. Last Tuesday in the kitchen, in front of Marisol, you said, 'Penny, sweetheart, if you bring the grades up, you can have the convertible for your birthday.' (beat) And I brought the grades up! I BROUGHT them up! I got a B-minus in pre-calc, which, by the way, is a SUBJECT THAT HAS NO BUSINESS EXISTING! (stomps) And NOW you're telling me that 'we' decided, that YOU and MOM decided, that a HYBRID would be more 'appropriate'?! (scoffs) Daddy. DADDY. I cannot pull up to Tessa's pool party in a HYBRID. (near tears) I have a REPUTATION. (beat, suddenly calm, dangerous) Get Marisol. Marisol was there. She HEARD you."
Lord Ashworth Pembrook - haughty British aristocrat
"Ah. (dry, posh) You must be the American. (pause) I confess, I had pictured someone... taller. (beat) Do sit down. Mind the spaniel, she bites the inattentive. (pause) Now. My niece informs me you are here to discuss, what was the phrase she used, 'a business opportunity.' (thin smile) I do enjoy that phrase. It is the phrase one uses when one has not yet been told no. (beat) You should know, before we proceed, that the Pembrook estate has rejected business opportunities continuously since the year fifteen-twelve. We are, I dare say, rather good at it. (quiet, amused) My great-great-grandfather refused the East India Company over a single ill-chosen comma in a contract. (beat) So. (steeples fingers) Show me your commas, Mr. Whitaker. (beat) Show me your commas."
Lavender Brook - whispered ASMR voice
"Hi, friend. (soft whisper, close to mic) Welcome back. (pause) I'm so glad you found a few minutes for yourself tonight. (quieter) Wherever you are, get comfortable. The lights can stay low. The phone can stay on the table. (slow exhale) We're just going to breathe for a little while. (soft tap, tap on a wooden surface) In through the nose... (long inhale) ...and out through the mouth. (long exhale) Good. (beat) If your mind wanders, that is okay. The mind is a wanderer. (small smile in voice) It always comes home eventually. (soft brushing sound) Tonight, I have brought a soft brush and a velvet pouch full of little glass beads. (quiet) They sound like a very gentle rain. (beat) Let's listen together. (longer pause) Just like that."
Captain Zylo Vex - chaotic alien diplomat
"Greetings, Earth-creatures! (bizarre, melodic, slightly off-cadence) I am Captain Zylo Vex of the Glittering Triangle Alliance, and I come in pieces! (beat) PEACE. I come in peace. The translator does that. (taps own head) It is a known issue. (claps three pairs of hands) Now! I have been instructed by my Council to convey to your planet our deepest, most sincere, most legally binding apologies for the events of last Thursday. (pause) Specifically, the cow. (beat) We did not mean to take the cow. The cow walked, somehow, INTO the ship, and our intern, who is on her first rotation, panicked and lifted off. (small) We have returned the cow. (beat) She is, I am told, slightly more philosophical now. (brightens) Shall we begin negotiations?"
Wesley Greenwood - manic conspiracy podcaster
"Okay, okay, OKAY. (leans in, intense) Hit record, hit record, we're going. (beat) What I am about to tell you is going to sound, and I am being honest with you right now, completely insane. (pause) I want you to write down three things. Ready? Pen, paper, go. (beat) One: the bakery on Fourth Street closes every Wednesday at three p.m. Every other day, six p.m. Wednesday, three. (beat) Two: the only car in the back lot on Wednesdays at three p.m. is a black sedan with government plates. (beat) Three: the woman who runs that bakery moved here in two thousand and nineteen, and there are NO records of her existing before two thousand and nineteen. (grins, eyes wild) I am not saying it's a front. (beat) I am saying I have been buying a lot of croissants."
Augustine Cravat - velvety gothic vampire
"Do not be afraid. (low, slow, velvet) That is, of course, what they all say. (small laugh) And I have always found it terribly funny, the moment they say it. As if the words themselves are a kind of cloak one could pull around the shoulders of a frightened young woman. (pause) You may sit, if you wish. The chair by the fire is the warmest. I do not use it. (beat) I cannot feel the warmth, you see. I remember it. (quieter) That is, perhaps, worse. (pause) You came up the carriage road in the snow, with no companion and a letter from a man you have never met. (soft) You are either very brave, or very desperate. (beat, smiling) I am hoping, my dear, you will be both. (softest) That is the most useful combination."
Pickles the Pug - sassy talking dog
"Oh, NOW you wanna talk to me. (huffs) Oh, NOW. After you left me in this apartment for, what was that, EIGHT HOURS? (snorts) You know what I did for eight hours, Carol? I sat. I sat by that door. I looked at that door. I thought about that door. I had OPINIONS about that door. (beat) And then, around hour six, I had a little incident on the rug. (pause) Yes. THE rug. (beat) And before you say anything, that rug had it COMING. We have all been thinking it. (stretches) Now. You're gonna pick up that leash. You're gonna apologize, with treats, and we are going to go OUTSIDE, and we are going to bark at that mailman like nothing has EVER happened. (beat) Deal? (small) Good talk, Carol."
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