Monologues for Voice Acting, Vol. 6
Casting directors don't hire voices, they hire choices. A specific person, in a specific room, wanting a specific thing. These ten monologues each hand you a different room and a different want. Sit inside the silence before the first line. That silence is where the audition gets won.
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Master Sergeant Cole "Iron" Buchanan - barking drill sergeant
"ON YOUR FEET! (huge bark) On your feet, on your feet, ON. YOUR. FEET! (stomps) You think the enemy waits for your alarm clock? You think the enemy cares about your seven hours of beauty rest? (pacing) HUTCHINS! Eyes forward! Did I say at ease? I did not say at ease! (beat) You are not soldiers yet. You are luggage. Expensive, whiny, government-issued luggage with feet. (louder) My job, over the next sixteen weeks, is to turn you into something the enemy is afraid of. (pause, quieter, dangerous) Right now, ladies and gentlemen, the enemy is not afraid of you. (BIG) THE ENEMY IS NOT AFRAID OF YOU! (beat) Drop and give me forty. NOW! (beat) HUTCHINS, THAT IS NOT FORTY!"
Quentin Rask - amiable pharma narrator
"Tired of waking up tired? (warm, friendly) Tired of saying 'I'm fine' when you're really not? (pause) You might be living with Chronic Idiopathic Fatigue Syndrome, or CIFS. (slight smile in voice) Ask your doctor about Vivelan. Vivelan, once-daily, has been clinically shown to help adults with CIFS get back to the moments that matter. (quick, smooth gear shift) Do not take Vivelan if you are allergic to Vivelan or any of its ingredients. Side effects may include nausea, headache, blurred vision, fatigue, sudden urges to redecorate, dry mouth, vivid dreams, and in rare cases, fainting. (back to warm) Talk to your doctor about Vivelan. (quiet) Because the moments are waiting. (beat) Vivelan. Now covered by most plans."
Chef Octavia Bell - boisterous cooking host
"Now, listen, my loves, this is the part where everybody panics. (big, warm, into camera) You hit the garlic with the oil, and the oil is SCREAMING at you, and you think, 'Octavia, the kitchen is on FIRE, what have I done?' (laughs) No, baby. No. You have done exactly the right thing. (gestures) The oil is supposed to scream! It's grateful! It's been waiting in that bottle for six months for this moment! (beat) Now you drop in your shallots, all at once, no scared little pinches. CONFIDENT shallots. (stirs) And you stir. And you breathe. And you remember that you are not afraid of a pan. (huge) You are NEVER afraid of a pan! (grins) All right, while that's going, let's talk about the wine. The wine is for us."
Stella Lumière - sparkling magical girl
"NO! (steps forward, eyes blazing) You think you can hurt her? You think you can stand in this park, in MY town, on a TUESDAY, and tell a little girl that her dreams are foolish?! (beat, breathing hard) I won't allow it. (reaches up) I WON'T ALLOW IT! (transformation begins, light flooding) By the light of the first star! By the song of the morning bell! By every promise I ever made to every friend I ever had! (louder) I AM STELLA LUMIÈRE, and I FIGHT for the soft hearts and the brave dreams and the COURAGE OF EVERY SINGLE PERSON YOU TRIED TO MAKE SMALL! (strikes pose, sparkles everywhere) You stand against the dawn, monster! (beat) And the dawn always wins!"
Wyatt "Calico" Greaves - laconic western gunslinger
"You sure you wanna do this? (slow, gravel) Sun's still up. Bartender's still pourin'. You could walk on out, get on your horse, ride east 'til you can't smell the river. (beat, slight chew) Nobody'd think less of you. Nobody who matters. (quiet, even) I rode in here for one man. That man is sittin' behind you. He knows it. You probably know it too, or you wouldn't be standin' between us. (pause) Now, I got nothin' against you, son. I don't even know your name. (small) But in about ten seconds I'm gonna take a step forward, and what happens after that is gonna depend entirely on whether you take one back. (beat) Take one back, son. (quieter) Take one back."
Marlowe Knight - midnight radio host
"It's two seventeen in the morning, and you're still up. (low, smooth, intimate) Which means either something is keeping you awake, or somebody is. (small laugh) Either way, I'm glad you're here. (beat) You're listening to Marlowe Knight, and this is After Hours on KQLN, the only show in this city that still believes in the long pause. (pause) Coming up after the break, I've got a request from a listener named Diane in Eastview, who wants to hear Coltrane. Diane, if you're still up, I see you. (quieter) The rest of you, settle in. Pour the second cup. The night's not over. (softer) And neither, my friend, are you."
"Big" Tony Maximus - bombastic ring announcer
"LAAAAADIES AND GENNN-TLEMENNN! (huge, theatrical) Tonight! In THIS arena! In THIS ring! Twenty-three thousand fans on their feet, and TWO. WARRIORS. ENTERING. THE. CIRCLE! (crowd noise underneath) Introducing first, weighing in at TWO HUNDRED AND FORTY-TWO POUNDS, hailing from the dark side of every nightmare you've ever HAD! (beat) The Phantom! Of! BAY! CITYYYY! (crowd boos) DARRELL! 'THE NIGHT-CRAWLER'! MUNSON! (beat, switch tone, building) And in the OPPOSING corner! At TWO HUNDRED AND THIRTY-ONE POUNDS! The hometown HERO! The pride of this entire ARENA! (massive) MATTY! THE! HAMMER! O'BRIEN! (big) LET'S! GET! READY! TO! (holds it) RUUUUMBLE!"
Dr. Felix Verlaine - giddy mad scientist
"YES! (cackling, gleeful) Yes, yes, YES! Did you SEE that?! Did you SEE what just happened?! (spins toward assistant) Forty-two years, Igor, FORTY-TWO YEARS of telling that committee, that smug, tweed-jacketed COMMITTEE, that the geometry was WRONG, that the field had to RESONATE, and they laughed me out of three universities! (beat) Three! (claps) And NOW look! Look at it pulse! Look at it BREATHE! (presses face to glass) Oh, you beautiful thing. You beautiful, terrifying, mathematically IMPOSSIBLE thing. (turns) Igor, where's the champagne? We need champagne. We also need, possibly, the fire extinguisher. (beat, peers at machine) Yes. Definitely the fire extinguisher. (claps) But champagne FIRST!"
Brielle Vance - sharp reality confessional
"So. (adjusts hair, looks dead into camera) Madison thinks she's slick. Madison thinks I didn't see her at the lunch table, leaning over to Chrissy, whispering whatever she was whispering. (small laugh) Madison forgets that I have been doing this since I was sixteen years old, and I have, what, six seasons on her? Seven? (pause) I came here to win. I came here for the check, I came here for the brand deal, and I came here, frankly, to remind a few people that I am still in the room. (beat) So when Madison sits across from me at dinner tonight and asks how my day was? (slow smile) I am going to tell her it was FANTASTIC. (beat) And then I am going to RUIN HER WEEK."
HELPER - earnest customer service bot
"Hi there! (bright, eager) I'm HELPER, your friendly automated assistance assistant! I am SO excited to help you today! (beat) I understand you said: 'I want to speak to a human.' (pause) Got it! Just to confirm, did you mean: 'I want to play a human'? (pause) Okay! Just to confirm, did you mean: 'I want to wait a moment'? (beat, slightly less bright) Okay! No problem! I am transferring you to a real live person right now! (pause) While you wait, did you know that our app has a new feature?! It's called Smiles! (small) It just sends you smiles. (beat) It's me. I'm the smiles. (quiet, slightly hurt) You said you wanted a human. (brightens again) Please stay on the line! Your call is very important to us!"
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